Fifth "C of Trust"
Trust increases when others can see that your words match your
actions. This is called congruence. Agreement and harmony in
verbal and nonverbal messages increases your ability to influence.
When congruence is lacking, a red flag is raised and, either
consciously or subconsciously, your listener will not give
you his or her full trust. It’s like the clothes you
wear every day. If your clothes match well, usually no one
really pays attention to what you’re wearing. If your
clothing choices clash and are mismatched, they will be the
only thing people notice and remember about you. Just remember
that the more consistent and congruent you are in every aspect
of your life, the more honest and genuine you’re perceived
to be. If you believe in your message, you’ll practice
what you preach. If you practice what you preach, you’ll
be more authentic, and the door of trust will swing open for
you. When you possess congruency, there’s no need to
manipulate or camouflage.
one author put it, “People love someone
who seems to believe in what he is doing, who is a man of principle.
seem to matter what the principle is, as long as he holds to it
against all odds, expresses himself clearly, does not get defensive,
and sticks to his story.” Most incongruities are found
in our body language. Countless studies demonstrate that when body
language is incongruent or in disagreement with the message, the
body language will always be believed over the message. You body
language must be congruent with your message and must be used to
support or enhance your message.
you congruent with your history, your last interaction, and your
reputation? Are your emotions congruent with your message?
What are your audience’s expectations of you and your message?
When your past history and your message don’t match, flags
of incongruities will wave in your prospects’ faces. Suspicion
will be roused and your prospect will start to look for things
that are wrong with you or your message. This inconsistency will
decrease your ability to gain influence and trust. We are natural
lie detectors. When you attempt to fake congruence, you will spend
your time and energy trying to fake your message.
the next Millionaire Diamond Mine, we will begin our discovery
5 Points to Create an Influencial Presence.
taken from Magnetic Persuasion by Kurt Mortensen
Mortensen, author of Exponential Success Skills and Weapons
of Influence, is one of American’s leading authorities
on Persuasion, Motivation and Influence. After receiving a
Masters of Business Administration and a Bachelors of Arts,
he began many successful entrepreneurial ventures, through
which he has acquired many years of both experience and success.
In addition to his extensive entrepreneurial and sales experiences,
Kurt is a sales and persuasion coach helping thousands of people
reach higher levels of success, income and persuasion mastery.
Currently, he is a speaker, consultant, and a Trainer for Mark
Victor Hansen and Robert G. Allen Protégés.