Congruence: The Fifth "C of Trust"

Trust increases when others can see that your words match your actions. This is called congruence. Agreement and harmony in verbal and nonverbal messages increases your ability to influence. When congruence is lacking, a red flag is raised and, either consciously or subconsciously, your listener will not give you his or her full trust. It’s like the clothes you wear every day. If your clothes match well, usually no one really pays attention to what you’re wearing. If your clothing choices clash and are mismatched, they will be the only thing people notice and remember about you. Just remember that the more consistent and congruent you are in every aspect of your life, the more honest and genuine you’re perceived to be. If you believe in your message, you’ll practice what you preach. If you practice what you preach, you’ll be more authentic, and the door of trust will swing open for you. When you possess congruency, there’s no need to manipulate or camouflage.

As one author put it, “People love someone who seems to believe in what he is doing, who is a man of principle. It doesn’t seem to matter what the principle is, as long as he holds to it against all odds, expresses himself clearly, does not get defensive, and sticks to his story.” Most incongruities are found in our body language. Countless studies demonstrate that when body language is incongruent or in disagreement with the message, the body language will always be believed over the message. You body language must be congruent with your message and must be used to support or enhance your message.

Are you congruent with your history, your last interaction, and your reputation? Are your emotions congruent with your message? What are your audience’s expectations of you and your message? When your past history and your message don’t match, flags of incongruities will wave in your prospects’ faces. Suspicion will be roused and your prospect will start to look for things that are wrong with you or your message. This inconsistency will decrease your ability to gain influence and trust. We are natural lie detectors. When you attempt to fake congruence, you will spend your time and energy trying to fake your message.

In the next Millionaire Diamond Mine, we will begin our discovery of
5 Points to Create an Influencial Presence.

Excerpts taken from Magnetic Persuasion by Kurt Mortensen
www.magneticpersuasion.com

Kurt Mortensen, author of Exponential Success Skills and Weapons of Influence, is one of American’s leading authorities on Persuasion, Motivation and Influence. After receiving a Masters of Business Administration and a Bachelors of Arts, he began many successful entrepreneurial ventures, through which he has acquired many years of both experience and success. In addition to his extensive entrepreneurial and sales experiences, Kurt is a sales and persuasion coach helping thousands of people reach higher levels of success, income and persuasion mastery. Currently, he is a speaker, consultant, and a Trainer for Mark Victor Hansen and Robert G. Allen Protégés.