Empathy
When someone feels love or unconditional acceptance, they will be
open to your influence. To be this open, people have
to know that you empathize with their situation. Empathy
has Latin and Greek roots. The two parts of the word mean “to
see through” and “the eye of the other.” Seeing
through the eye of another creates long-term influence. When people
know that you can see what they see, feel what they feel, and hurt
the way they hurt, then they will be willing to be influenced by
you. The whole world is full of people trying to make us do things
for their reasons. All we need to do is pause to understand who
we are dealing with, what they are thinking, and why they are thinking
those things. Once we understand these principles, we have empathy,
and the door of influence swings wide open.
Empathy and caring are part of having humility. When you are humble,
you demonstrate to others that you are not driven by ego and pride,
nor are you out to get the best for yourself.
Nothing
develops or displays your character better than your desire
to put others
first. As
our friend Zig Ziglar says:
“The
best way to get what you want out of life
is to help others
get what they want.”
Empathy and genuine concern encourage
communication.
If
you have a hard time empathizing with others, then you’re
not alone. This skill is not learned in school or on the streets.
We learn empathy by really caring about the people we help and
serve. Modern life doesn’t give us many opportunities to
serve others. So, you must turn to those you work with, and look
for opportunities to serve them and their needs. When a client
feels his representative really cares about him, understands him,
and would never sell him anything he would not need, that persuader
has a customer for life; in fact, he doesn’t need to sell
anymore. He has established such a high level of influence, that
all he needs to do is present the product and the deal is done.
If you need to find ways to develop empathy, ask yourself the following
questions:
- How would I feel if I were that person?
- Why is that person feeling this way?
- How can I help?
- How would I feel if that happened to me?
Basically,
be sure to always consider the universal needs of everyone: approval,
attention,
praise, encouragement, understanding, and
acceptance. When you accept the whole person unconditionally, you
create empathy. You accept their strengths and triumphs along with
their weaknesses, failures, doubts, and fears. We can learn a lot
about empathy from the ancient classic, Tao-te-Ching, by Lao-tzu:
“Evolved
leaders win the trust and support of the people
through their
complete identification with them.
The interests of people
are naturally
promoted
because they become the interests of the leader as well.”
In
the next Millionaire Diamond Mine, we will discuss
Vision,
the 5th Point in Creating an Influencial Presence.
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